GOD, WHAT MONEY!

The Reverend Fredrick J. Eikerenkoetter -- aka Reverend Ike -- died this week. He was 74.

The Reverend preached on national TV and radio. He had a peak audience of 2.5 million. He preached "Prosperity Now," or "Thinkonomics."

Here is some selected wit and wisdom of Reverend Ike:

• "Close your eyes and see green. Money up to your armpits, a roomful of money and there you are, just tossing it around like in a swimming pool."
• The Reverend solicited cash from his congregation, but only folding money, no coins. He said, "Change makes your minister nervous in the service." In return, he'd send you a prayer cloth.
• Ike loved exotic cars, claiming "My garages runneth over."
• In 1969 he bought New York's Lowe's 175th Street Theater for a half million dollars for his headquarters. He called the style, "Byzantine-Romanesque-Indo-Hindu-Sino-Moorish-Persian-Eclectic-Rococo-Deco.
• Expanding on Matthew, Ike said, "If it's that difficult for a rich man too get into heaven, think how terrible it must be for a poor man to get in."

The Reverend Ike died a multi-millionaire. But you can't take it with you.

CUT THE MUSTARD

Tomorrow is National Mustard Day.

You can celebrate at the Mustard Museum in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin. There are 5,000 different mustards on display from 60 countries and 1,500 antique mustard pots, bottles and tins.

Tomorrow there'll be mustard painting and music by the Poupon U Accordion Band and more music from Staff Infection and the Red Hot Horn Dawgs.

And -- FREE HOT DOGS FOR ALL -- WITH MUSTARD! Ketchup is $10.

PICKLES MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL

In other food news, Guss's Pickles is moving.

Guss makes the best pickles EVER. I haven't been there since I left the east coast, but I remember Guss had several pickle barrels set up on the sidewalk in front of the store on Manhattan's Lower East Side. The barrels ranged from new to old pickles. The old ones were the best, the most sour. If you brought your own jar Guss would fill it with pickles, force the last one in with his thumb, top it off with pickle juice and name a price.

Actually, I'm not sure if that was really Guss at all. The current owner is Pat Fairhurst. Isidor Guss started the business on a pushcart in 1920. But it doesn't matter. The pickles are GREAT.

High rents are driving Guss's Pickles to to Borough Park in Brooklyn. Eat a pickle. Say "hi" to Guss for me, or whoever he is.

END OF THE LINE FOR THE LITTLE PISTOL

This is the story of the little pistol that could.

It was a .32 caliber revolver, manufactured in the Smith & Wesson plant in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1949. It was shipped to the John Jovino Gun Shop in Manhattan.

The shop still stands, still sells guns; it's been in business since 1911. We don't know who bought the gun because records from the '40s no longer exist. It might have been a policeman because back then there was a nearby police station and police firing range. These .32s were popular with police; back then cops still shot mouse guns.

In 1976 it belonged to Corrections Officer John Eckert who filed a police report saying he lost it. Eckert retired later that year and is no longer alive.

In 2009 a man named Carlos is said to have had the gun. Edwin Santana says he took the gun from Carlos. That was the day, last Sunday, that Police Officer Rodney Lewis arrested Santana. Lewis's partner searched Santana and took the gun, but dropped it. The gun went off, and the bullet hit Lewis in the chest. Those old revolvers sometimes did that, they didn't have the safety features of most modern revolvers.

Officer Lewis is out of the hospital; he'll be OK.

But the little pistol that could has reached the end of its line. Like all guns confiscated in New York City, it will be melted down and the steel used to make wire coat hangers.

(NYT)

NEW YORK'S PAPER OF NON-RECORD

"The New York Post" is one of my guilty pleasures. It's a rag. I like it.

My wife took a business trip to Manhattan and picked me up a copy. Here's what I learned:

• Michael Jackson's doctor killed his patient with a shot of propopol.
• The jealous wife of a cheating husband poured a pot of scalding water on his genitals. The headline read, "Great Balls Afire!"
• Madonna's love letters to her ex are up for auction, including the one that says, "Just watched the HBO special... My booty looked good and you should see how good it looks in person. It looks Bootyful!"
• Rachael Hunter is fighting depression after hockey star Jarret Stoll dumped her. (Who is Rachael Hunter?)
• When Hugh Hefner dies he will be buried next to Marlyn Monroe. He paid $1 million for the plot.
• A flock of doves released at a wedding is starving to death in Flushing Meadow Park.
• Two teenage would-be purse snatchers in Greenwich Village used an umbrella to batter a woman, but she wasn't seriously hurt and they got nothing but arrested.
• My horoscope says I know what people will say before they say it. (But I knew it would say that.)

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"They'll ruin a good yard 'cause they like grub worms.

"So all you have to do is to lay a few marshmallows out and then put a marshmallow or two in the trap cage. You'll catch those suckers.

"Pretty soon, that armadillo fellow, he's in my cage. I got him. And the reason I got him is he kept thinking he could get something for nothing. He kept thinking, 'Man, that's a sweet marshmallow.'

"I either put 'em in the back of my pickup and take 'em 10 or 15 miles away from my property or I shoot 'em.

"That's exactly what's going to happen to us. We are either going to be carried far way from what we know, we trust and believe in to be right or we are going to be extinct as a nation.''

-- Tom Coburn, U.S. senator from Oklahoma, on freedom and armadillos

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I'm just another one of the prophets that went to jail for the Gospel."

-- evangelist Tony Alamo upon being convicted under the Mann act for "marrying" five underage girls, one as young as eight years old, and having sex with them.

"RAPE," SHE SAID

I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Indian politician Rita Bahuguna Joshi announced that a rival politician should be raped so she could better understand the plight of women.

Next, Joshi's house was burned down.

Then, she was arrested and jailed.

Now, she faces a possible ten year prison term for "insulting a person of lower caste" and "insulting a woman's modesty."

There's a lesson here. Never cry rape in a crowded parliament.

QUOTATIONS OF THE DAY

"You don't have to believe in God to be a moral or ethical person."

-- New York City Atheists advertisement on the side of a New York City Transit bus


"The problem with being an atheist is that you don't have a holiday."

-- Henny Youngman

CHA CHA CHANGIN', REARRANGIN'

Algeria has officially moved the weekend to Friday and Saturday. It used to be Thursday and Friday.

Please see that your calenders comply.

---

.

A massive magnitude 7.8 earthquake off New Zealand last week has moved that country twelve inches closer to Australia.

.

Please see that your maps comply.

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF TOM COBURN

“The gay community has infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across this country and they wield extreme power. That agenda is the greatest threat to our freedom we face today. Why do you think we see the rationalization for abortion and multiple sexual partners? That’s a gay agenda.”

-- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on freedom


"I favor the death penalty for abortionists and other people who take life."

-- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on the death penalty


"If I wanted to buy a bazooka to use in a very restricted way, to do something, I ought to be able to do that."

-- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on gun control


"I don't apologize for saying we need to protect the unborn. Do you realize that if all those children had not been aborted, we wouldn't have any trouble with Medicare and Social Security today? That's another 41 million people."

-- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on Medicare and Social Security


“Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom.”

-- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on education


"You got lots of 'splainin to do."

-- Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor

FOR ALL MANKIND

Milestones in space aren't what they used to be.

There are 13 people on the space station today, the most folks in Earth orbit at one time ever. A new milestone in space.

But 40 years ago two humans walked on the moon.

I watched the TV coverage that summer day, a full day of talking heads leading up to the actual landing.

My girlfriend and I visited her grandmother, who was transfixed by the TV. It was a great show, she said. But of course it isn't true because the moon is only this big, she said, holding her hands a basketball's width apart.

At one point Walter Cronkite was interviewing Arthur C. Clarke in Florida, and they brought in Robert A. Heinlein by satellite from California. Cronkite gradually dropped out of the conversation as these two great science fiction authors talked to each other. I don't remember what they talked about. The miracle was just that they were there, talking, on this amazing day.

Clarke had predicted communications satellites. And Heinlein wrote about the first men on the moon. And they each wrote about a future of space colonies on Mars and Ganymede, and humans who would take spaceships to the stars, even if it took several generations to get there.

The future isn't what it used to be. The average person alive today was nine years old when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin bounced around the moon. And a surprising percentage of Americans don't believe we really went there in the first place. After all, it's impossible. The moon is only this big.

What happened to my space colonies and starships? What happened to the Walt Disneys, Willey Lays and Werner Von Brauns who popularised the dream of human space travel? What happened to the science fiction greats who inspired us and the Communists who challenged us?

Today the science fiction genre has gone from hard science to sword and sorcery, outright fantasy and impossible space operas.

Today we have Bill Gates and Steve Jobs who promise to draw us together in ways we can't now imagine. We are turning inward. The new frontier is the human soul. We are gazing at our navels.
And today 13 people are orbiting our planet, a new milestone in space. But come on, they're 215 miles from Earth. That's the distance from Tulsa to Kansas City.

So maybe we're like the Vikings who discovered the New World and never followed up on it, leaving behind only bits of rotted ships and fading runes.

And maybe some future humans will populate the universe, and find on the moon a spidery bit of disintegrating spaceship and a plaque with runes that read, "Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the moon, July, 1969, A.D. We came in peace far all mankind."

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

-- Homer Simpson

GETTING MORE THAN YOU WANT

The Defense Appropriations Subcommittee has voted to spend $485 million on five new presidential helicopters that President Obama says he does not want.

The subcommittee also voted to spend $369 million on 12 new F-22 fighter jets that Defense Secretary Gates says the Pentagon does not want.

But these are only part of a $636 billion defense spending bill, so what's a few hundred million here and there?

A FRENCHMAN HERE, A FRENCHMAN THERE

Two violent Islamist insurgent groups in Somalia have agreed to a hostage sharing agreement.

Two Frenchman were kidnapped this week from their hotel in Mogadishu and turned over to the Hizbul group.

But the Shabab group wanted the hostages, and threatened to go to war with Hizbul over it.

Eventually a compromise was reached and Hizbul gave one of the hostages to Shabab. Now Hizbul and Shabab each have one Frenchman.

See how we can all get along if we just try?

THAT OLD CLASS ACTION

When the Onex Corporation bought Boeing's commercial aircraft operations in Kansas and Oklahoma, they came up with a money saving strategy:

Fire the old guys!

Onex even sent an E-mail to the board of directors describing the strategy, and saying "We are moving from a demographically expensive population towards one that should be cheaper."

Now the fired old guys are bringing a class action suit. They want their jobs back, unspecified compensatory damages and $1.5 billion in punitive damages.

It was pretty stupid of the Onex executives to put their age strategy in writing. But they were probably just too young to know better.

GAI STRASHEH DI VANTZEN

It was disappointing to hear that people from that nutso church in Topeka, Kansas, picketed the Jewish Community Center here in Tulsa, and that a bomb threat followed the picketing. The bomb threat turned out to be a hoax.

But it was gratifying to read some of the readers' comments that followed that story in the Tulsa World newspaper's web site.

It was "Rockfan" in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, who wrote, "Those hoaxers and protesters can kiss my tuchus!"

(The Yiddish headline, Gai Strasheh Di Vantzen!, means " You don't frighten me!" or, literally, "Go threaten the bed bugs!")

(Tuchus is Yiddish for "buttocks.")

QUOTATIONS OF THE DAY

"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money."

-- Samuel Johnson


"I'm a blockhead."

-- Marc Sherman

CHEW, DON'T SWALLOW

Those devious Jews are at it again.

Hamas reports that Israeli intelligence agents are distributing aphrodisiac chewing gum in Gaza.

A Palestinian man filed a complaint that his daughter chewed the gum and suffered "dubious side effects."

A Hamas spokesman says, "The intelligence services are aiming to corrupt the young generation by distributing these products among students."

My only question is, where can I get some of this gum?

GREATLY EXAGGERATED

Despite what you may have read on the Internet, note the following:

• Jeff Goldblum did not fall to his death off the Kauri Cliffs in New Zealand while making a movie.
• Natalie Portman did not go off the same cliff.
• Harrison Ford did not go down in a capsized yacht in St-Tropez.
• George Clooney did not crash his private plane in Colorado.
• Miley Cyrus did not die in a car crash.
• Rick Astley was not found dead in a Berlin hotel.
• Britney Spears did not die in a car crash with a pretzel van.
• Ellen DeGeneres is still alive.
• Louie Anderson is still alive.

However, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Karl Malden, Robert McNamara, Billy Mays, Gale Storm and Oscar Meyer are still dead.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Anywhere I hang myself is home."

-- Professor Louis Nordstrom Ph.D., A.K.A Zen Master Mitsunen, Buddhist monk

TRY TRY AGAIN

In 1998 President Bill Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin announced plans to open a joint early warning center to monitor missile launchings around the world. It never happened.

In 2000 President Bill Clinton and Russian President Vladimir Putin announced plans to open a joint early warning center to monitor missile launchings around the world. It never happened.

In 2007 George W. Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin announced plans to open a joint early warning center to monitor missile launchings around the world. It never happened.

Last week, President Barack Obama and Russian President Dmitri Medvedev announced plans to open a joint early warning center to monitor missile launchings around the world.

You think?

AND NO SLEEPING UNDER BRIDGES

The Anchorage, Alaska, Assembly passed a new law that allows police to break up homeless camps.

The law is not discriminatory because it applies to the rich and poor alike.

RAPE NO, HOUSEWORK YES

Afghanistan has changed the law that legalized marital rape.

The new law says that a woman no longer must submit to sex with her husband, but she still has to do the housework.

QUOTATIONS OF THE DAY

"It looks like things are going to be over and we are going to get the clown from Minnesota,’’

-- Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe, referring to Al Franken


"I don't know how Senator Inhofe regards clowns, but it might be an incredible complement."

-- Minnesota Senator Al Franken, responding to James Inhofe

UNCIVIL RIGHTS

From the extreme irony department --

The Southern Christian Leadership Conference, the civil rights organization founded by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., wants to fire the president of its California chapter, the Reverend Eric P. Lee, for opposing Proposition 8 and supporting gay marriage.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"We keep marrying other species and other ethnics..."

"The problem is the Swedes have pure genes. They marry other Swedes, that's the rule. Finns marry other Finns; they have a pure society. In America we marry everybody. We will marry Italians and Irish."

-- Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade

I'D LOVE TO BE...

Oscar Mayer, retired chairman of his eponymous meat processing company, is dead.

Long live his hot dogs.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"For the last -- I don't for how long now -- this lowlife Michael Jackson -- his name, his face, his picture -- is all over the newspapers, television, radio. All we hear about is Michael Jackson.

"Let's knock out the psychobabble. This guy was a pervert, was a child molester. He was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what's it say about us, our country?

"There's nothing good about this guy. He may have been a good singer, dancer, but the bottom line is: Would you let your child or grandchild be in the same room with Michael Jackson? What are we glorifying him for?"

-- U.S. Representative Peter T. King of Long Island, New York.

THAT'S STRANGE

I just found out that that the late former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara middle name was Strange.

No, I mean literally. His name was Robert Strange McNamara.

Strange.

FLU? WHO KNEW?

From the extreme irony department...

Cleveland cancelled a free health care fair because of fears of swine flu.

THE POLICE BLOTTER

Police in Peddler's Village, Virginia, busted Kelly Fashion manager Hyun Nam Kim and seized $340.000 worth of counterfeit clothing.

Good work, guys, on keeping the village safe from counterfeit clothing.

###

And two New York men who robbed a gas station were caught a mile down the road when their getaway car ran out of gas.

THE QUICK AND THE DEAD

Armadillo carcasses litter the roads of Oklahoma and Texas. Here in Oklahoma we have a joke about them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo that it could be done!

But now armadillos are showing up in Kansas. And my question is this: If they can't even cross the road in Oklahoma, how can they get to Kansas?

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white."

-- President Richard Nixon on Roe v. Wade

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Robert McNamara died today. I assume he has now seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

QUOTATIONS OF THE DAY

"By definition, if it was authorized by the president, it does not violate our obligations under the Conventions Against Torture."

-- Condoleezza Rice



"When the president does it, it's not illegal."

-- President Richard Nixon

INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NEW JERSEY

The Statue of Liberty's crown, closed since 9/11, opened on the fourth of July.

I first made that climb decades ago, 354 steps to the top, some of those barely big enough for even my child sized feet. And there was no handrail then, as there is now.

And at the top, a disappointing view of the New York skyline; you could see better from the Empire State Building or, for that matter, the World Trade Center. The real thrill was just being there in Lady Liberty, the same statue that greeted my immigrant grandparents on their way up New York Harbor.

I'd like some some day to climb up to the torch. It's been closed since World War I when German saboteurs blew up a nearby military ammo dump and the blast weakened Liberty's arm.

And yes, the Statue of Liberty is actually in New Jersey. Don't let any New Yorker tell you different.

INDEPENDENCE DAY IN TULSA

Here in Tulsa, the annual fireworks display was over in 13 minutes.

A shell exploded inside its launch tube, fell over, and set other shells on fire. The fire spread across the launch platform. The Tulsa Fire Department put out the fire, but by then everything was too wet to shoot.

The celebration was a dud.

(Tulsa World)

INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NORTH KOREA

North Korea celebrated the fourth of July with the rocket's red glare. The Communist dictatorship launched seven ballistic missiles 250 miles into the ocean.

It's always good to see another country celebrate American independence.

INDEPENDENCE DAY IN IRAQ

Vice President Joe Biden led the swearing in of 237 new U.S. citizens -- soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines -- at Saddam Hussein's former palace in Iraq, beneath the giant crystal chandelier of the late dictator and before a 50 foot American flag.

Biden pointed out, "We did it in Saddam's palace, and I can think of nothing better. That S.O.B. is rolling over in his grave right now."

(NYT)

INDEPENDENCE DAY IN AFGHANISTAN

Bravo Company of the 1st Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, spent Independence Day on the third day of a hike through the 100 plus degree heat of Afghanistan, carrying 100 pounds of gear each. Ammunition, rifle and flak jacket alone weigh 50 pounds. Add another 15 pounds for water, barely enough for the task.

There were some heat causalities. Some Marines threw up, others had dry heaves. Three passed out. Their Navy medic pointed out, "When (body) temperature goes up past 104, your brain starts cooking, and that's what we're trying to prevent."

Each Marine was carrying a full load of ammo, because they had not yet been in a firefight. One said, "It's be great if we took contact. We'd lose so much weight."

Most of the Marines were not aware it was the fourth of July.

(AP)

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Hell is other people."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre

YOU PAYS YOUR MONEY AND TAKES YOUR CHOICE

The F.D.A. has ordered new warning labels on some stop-smoking drugs because of a suicide risk. The drugs are bupropion -- sold as Zyban and Wellbutrin -- and Chantix.

So if smoking doesn't kill you, stopping might.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

YOU'VE GOT TO BE NUTS TO SMOKE

Greece has passed a strict new anti-smoking law. It is now illegal to smoke in any public place. The law makes a special exemption for mental patients.

Is that crazy or what?

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Laws, like the spider's web, catch the fly and let the hawk go free."

-- Spanish proverb

CALIFORNIA BUCKS

California is printing its own money.

The legislature and the governor can't agree on a budget. The state is officially broke. So it's paying its bills with I.O.U.s.

Call them California Bucks.

But good luck trying to spend them. Some banks will take them. Some won't. And some banks are talking about charging a discount -- meaning you'll get fewer than 100 pennies to the dollar -- even though the banks will be able eventually to redeem them from the state plus 3.75% interest.

And, no, California Bucks don't carry a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Life is one long process of getting tired."

-- Samuel Butler

WHEREAS...

Republican Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern, who once famously claimed that homosexuality is more dangerous that terrorism, now wants all Oklahomans to sign her "Oklahoma Citizen's Proclamation for Morality." The proclamation goes like this:

We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessing of Liberty; to secure just and rightful Government; to promote our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to the Lord for guidance, to acknowledge the need for a national awakening of righteousness in our land.

WHEREAS, "It is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand" (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by Religion and Morality" (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, "Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people" (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, "We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government...but upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God" (James Madison); and

WHEREAS, "Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God (Benjamin Franklin); and

WHEREAS, "God who gave us life gave us liberty and can the liberties of a nation be thought
secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are of the Gift of God" (Thomas Jefferson); and

WHEREAS, "Whether any free government can be permanent, where the public worship of God, and the support of Religion, constitute no part of the policy or duty of the state" (Joseph Story); and

WHEREAS, "We hold sacred the rights of conscience, and promise to the people...the free and undisturbed exercise of their religion" (Roger Sherman); and

WHEREAS, "This great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians" (Patrick Henry); and

WHEREAS, "When you...exercise the right of voting for public officers, let it be impressed upon your mind that God commands you to choose just men who will rule in the fear of God" (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, "The principles of genuine Liberty and of wise laws and administrations are to be drawn from the Bible" (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the Creator of the Universe; and

WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis; and

WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery; and

WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and

WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of Prayer; and

WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that "Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord," and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin. Signed on the second day of July in the year of our Lord Christ Two Thousand and Nine.

By Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City

If you're from Oklahoma you can just go print out the above and sign it. If you're not from Oklahoma you don't have to sign.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."

-- Albert Einstein

A LESSON

A Tulsan who attacked his neighbor with a hatchet was shot when his neighbor pulled a handgun.

The lesson here is, never bring a hatchet to a gunfight.