A MAN FOR ALL REASONS

Boulder,Colorado, police arrested 31-year-old Alexander Kabelis for slashing the tires on more than 50 vehicles. But Alex had his reasons. He says he flattened the tires because he...

• ...got radiation poisoning from the Rocky Flats nuclear production facility.
• ...was frustrated by his relationship with his mother.
• ...was angry about losing his driver's license a couple years ago.
• ...had been "buzzed" by a police car.
• ...got braces on his teeth in the late 1990s.

Well, at least it wasn't just another senseless crime.