THE SMART AND THE DEAD

There's good news and bad news for God's chosen people. The good news is that Jews of Eastern European origin -- Ashkenazi Jews -- have genes that make us smarter. The bad news is that those genes are killing us.

Gregory Cochran and Henry Harpending at the University of Utah did the study. They found that Ashkenazi Jews have the highest average IQ of any ethnic group. We make up about 3% of the US population but win 27% of the US Nobel science prizes. Twenty percent of this country's chief executives and 22% of Ivy League students are Ashkenazi Jews. So are more than half of the world's chess champions.

The theory is that over the centuries only the smartest Jews survived persecution, and passed down their genes.

But these same genes are killing us. They carry inherited diseases like Tay-Sachs, Canavan disease, Niemann-Pick disease Type A, Gaucher disease, idiopathic torsion dystonia, non-classical adrenal hyperplasia, factor XI deficiency, sphingolipid storage diseases, glycogen storage diseases, clotting disorders, disorders of adrenal steroid biosynthesis, and disorders of DNA repair, mucolipidosis type IV, Fanconi’s anemia type C, Bloom syndrome, familial dysautonomia and others.

These diseases are all deadly. But they also promote the growth of nerve pathways. One copy of the genes causing these diseases can make you smarter. But two copies can make you dead.

I see this as just another practical joke God has played on His chosen people. What doesn't kill us makes us smarter.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"...how can you not reminisce about a childhood where you begin each day with the Pledge of Allegiance as little kids lined up in the schoolyard and then marched in two by two with a flag and a crucifix in each classroom?"
-- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

OH THOSE WACKY LEGISLATORS

It's time to take another look at politics as usual in Oklahoma.

Legislators are in a snit over a talk that scientist and author Richard Dawkins gave at the University of Oklahoma. He talked about evolution. That's not a popular topic among many Oklahomans, who lean more toward creationism.

Representative Rebecca Hamilton filed an open records request. She wants to know who paid for the speech and how much. Actually, Dawkins gave the speech for free.

Representative Todd Thomson filed a resolution denouncing the Dawkins speech, saying the university is trying "to indoctrinate students in the theory of evolution." Thomson also said, "His presence at O.U. was not about science. It was to promote an atheist agenda."

***

The House passed a bill 96 to nothing requiring all public school students to not only pledge allegiance to the U.S. flag every day, but to the Oklahoma state flag as well. Who even knew there was a state pledge?

Representative Lewis Moore explained the need for this bill. He said, "In Oklahoma City, 40 percent of the students are Hispanic, and we wanted to maintain our culture and help them assimilate into America, and into the Oklahoma culture."

By the way, the state pledge goes: "I salute the flag of the state of Oklahoma. Its symbols of peace unite all people."

***

Representative Mike Reynolds wants to ban embryonic stem cell research. His bill passed 82 to 6. No stem cells for you, Mr. Reynolds.

***

Representative Rex Duncan wants to ban head coverings in driver's license photos. His bill passed 88 to 8. Although the bill seems to be aimed at Muslim women, Duncan says "It doesn't matter whether you're a cowboy and take off your cowboy hat, (or) a nun." He admits, though, that he got the idea when he heard that a Muslim woman took her driver's photo wearing a hijab.

Duncan was the representative who famously refused a free Quran given to legislators by the Governor's Ethnic American Advisory Council because, he said, the book encourages violence and the mistreatment of women. As opposed, I guess, to the Old Testament, which encourages violence and the mistreatment of women. Duncan did accept a free bible given to legislators, but did he read it?

***

U.S. Senator from Oklahoma James Inhofe proposed an amendment to a spending bill that would prevent the United Nations from taxing U.S. citizens. The amendment failed 43 to 52.

U.S. Senator Patrick Leahy characterised it as the "black helicopter" amendment.

***

Here in Tulsa, the City Council is considering community gardens in vacant lots with the permission of the land owner. This has worked out well in other cities, no problems, makes people happy. But wait, not so fast.

Councilor Jack Henderson is against it. He says, "How do we know what people are going to be growing? Vegetables? Maybe. Or maybe something else."

Henderson says that allowing community gardens would lead to more salvage yards, and north Tulsa (his district) already has enough salvage yards.

That salvage yard thing just doesn't track for me, but I'm sure the councilor knows what he's talking about.

###

IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR GUN

Tulsa has an ammunition shortage.

In particularly short supply is 9mm and .380 pistol ammo. Some people are buying ammo by the case. Some gun shops are rationing ammo, limiting customers to a single 50 round box. Gun sales are up as well. Buyers give several reasons for this.

• President Barack Obama is about to pass a law banning all guns and ammunition. His jack booted thugs will take your guns away. So now is the time to get your guns and stock up on ammunition.
• President Obama is about to cede sovernity of this country to the United Nations. U.N. troops will invade from Canada and Mexico, taking away our liberties and locking up dissidents in FEMA concentration camps. So now is the time to get your guns and stock up on ammunition.
• The current economic meltdown will lead to riots in the streets and the breakdown of civilisation as we know it. So now is the time to get your guns and stock up on ammunition.

Personally, I think the 33 round magazine on my Glock is enough to hold off a moderately sized drug crazed motorcycle gang until the police get here.

SEX WITH WHOEVER, WHATEVER

Brothers and sisters, get your groove on. Romania is considering legalizing incest between consenting adults. It's already legal in France, Spain and Portugal.

In the U.S., incest is illegal in all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

But as one Romanian put it, "If brothers and sisters want to have fun, why should they be imprisoned?"

Meanwhile, Florida and Alaska are considering banning bestiality. There have been a number of goat rapes in Florida recently, and a blind man had sex with his guide dog.

I don't know what you guys think you're doing, but it's scaring the animals.

(AP)

NO MERCY FOR PILGRIMS

Pope Benedict XVI spoke to Angolans at a sports stadium over the weekend. The death toll was two, with at least 38 injured in the crush of the crowd.

There is no God.

(AP)

DEADLY TEA BAGS

Rumor of the day:

Tribes people in the mountains of Pakistan have stopped drinking Lipton tea because they believe the CIA is using the tea bags as homing beacons for bombs.

Can the CIA really do that?

(NYT)

PROTECTING GOD

I just found our that blasphemy is illegal here in Oklahoma.

The law states that "Blasphemy consists in wantonly uttering or publishing words, casting contumelious reproach or profane ridicule upon God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, the Holy Scriptures or the Christian or any other religion."

The penalty is one year in prison and a $500 fine.

God damn it, that just doesn't seem right.

(By the way, according to Merriam Webster, con·tu·me·li·ous is an ajective meaning "insolently abusive and humiliating." it's pronounced kän-tü-ˈmē-lē-əs. Its adverb form is con·tu·me·li·ous·ly.)

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Facts are stupid things."

-- President Ronald Reagan attempting to quote John Adams' line, "Facts are stubborn things."

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What's wrong with that? Come on.

"Some people might not want to see your underwear - I'm one of them."

-- Barack Obama

THIS SHOW MUST NOT GO ON

The principal of Corona del Mar High School in Newport Beach, California, cancelled the planned performance of "Rent" after she figured out the play has gay characters in it.

The school's drama teacher says he may stage the play "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" instead.

THAT'S MY LEGISLATURE!

Lock up your children, Oklahomans, and bring your barnyard animals inside. The Oklahoma legislature is back in session.

Here's a look at what those rascally representatives are up to this time.

House Joint Resolution 1042 would make English the state's official language, and the only language Oklahoma could use for state business. The exceptions would be the deaf, the blind, and Native Americans. The deaf could continue to use sign language, blind people could use Braille, and Indians could use their Native American language. Presumably if you're a deaf and blind Indian, you'd have a choice of languages.

House Bill 2252 would ban driver license tests in any language but English. As one representative explained it, "It's common sense. If they can't speak English they can't read signs."

(Personal disclosure: I rented a car in Mexico one time and went driving all around the country without being able to speak Spanish. Once I learned what "peligro" meant -- It means "danger." -- things went pretty well.)

(This also reminds me of my father-in-law, who said Puerto Ricans drive so badly when it snows in New Jersey because they don't understand the English-language weather reports on the radio.)

Senate Bill 289 is the Religious Freedom and Privacy Act. It would ban fingerprints for driver licenses. In fact, it would ban all biometric data. You know, fingerprints, palm prints, facial characteristics, height, weight, eye color, whatever. The sponsor says this information is now being shared with Canada, Mexico, and other countries in the furtherance of a "one world government" that will take away our freedoms and our currency. As another senator told the sponsor, "Man, you scared me to death."

House Bill 1330 would place a monument of the ten commandments on the grounds of the Capitol. Only the text of the King James protestant version would be authorised, not the Jewish or Catholic translations. Can you say, "establishment of religion?"

And twenty house members voted to strike from the record the opening prayer in the house chamber because the reverend who gave it turned out to be gay.

TEN -- MAKE THAT FIVE -- NO, MAKE THAT THREE -- COMMANDMENTS

And about this ten commandments thing. I keep hearing from people who say that the commandments are the basis for all our laws, and that's why we should teach them in school and post them at the courthouse. I don't see how people who say this could ever have actually read them.

So let's take a look at these commandments. Different religions and denominations use different translations. We'll stick with the King James version. The commandments appear two times in the bible in slightly different form. We'll use Exodus chapter twenty. And the ten commandments are not numbered in the bible. Numbering schemes vary. We'll use the Protestant numbering.

• (1) I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

What a country! I can worship any God I want, or no God at all. I can worship cats, or dogs, or Elvis Presley. I can hold satanic prayer meetings at my house. Of course my neighbors might burn my house down, but it's still technically not illegal.

• (2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

As I read it, this commandment would pretty much ban photography as we know it. But it's still legal to take a picture of anything I want to, including God if I can just put some salt on his tail. Of course, the jealous one will smite my great-great-grandchildren for it. If He exists.

• (3) Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

By law, you can call God anything you want. Of course, your neighbors still may burn your house down.

• (4) Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Some towns do have Sunday closing laws. But some congregations (Jews, Seventh Day Adventists) observe the Sabbath on Saturday. So work if you have to and rest if you can.

• (5) Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

If I tell my parents to go to hell, I may go to hell, but I won't go to jail.

• (6) Thou shalt not kill.

Not just the law, but a good idea as well.

• (7) Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Adultery is not generally illegal. Although such laws are still on the books in some places, they are struck down regularly. This one is mostly left to spouses to enforce.

• (8) Thou shalt not steal.

Good law. Good idea.

• (9) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

This one is a tough call. Slander is illegal. Libel is illegal. Lying under oath is illegal. But lying itself is not illegal. People do it all the time, and there aren't prisons enough to hold them all.

• (10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Coveting illegal? This is America! We covet all the time. We covet our neighbors house, and his car, and her ass. Don't you watch TV commercials? Where have you been?

So of ten commandments, we have maybe three that have any basis in U.S. law. But somehow I don't think they'll be posting the three commandments at the courthouse anytime soon.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN), in a TV interview, says she opposed the stimulus package because --

"We're running out of rich people in this country."

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

Britain's new 13-year-old father, when asked by a reporter what he would do support his child financially, replied --

"What's financially?"

NOT WHAT HE INTENDED

The chief of an Islamic TV station in upstate New York is under arrest for beheading his wife.

Muzzamil Hassan -- who has confessed to the beheading -- says he founded the TV station to help combat negative stereotypes of Muslims.

Oops.

I HEART CONVERSATION

Valentines day is Saturday, and stores everywhere are selling those chalky tasting little candy hearts with the heartfelt messages on them. Does anyone really eat those things?

They're called Necco Conversation Hearts and have been around since1866. Some of the messages have been around since the beginning.

• Be Mine
• I Love You
• Kiss Me

Some messages from the past are no more.

• Be Good
• Be True
• Fax Me

Some are new this year.

• Yum Yum
• Honey Bun
• Stir My Heart

And some messages have never been on Necco Conversation Hearts and probably never will be.

• I Heart Heart
• Eat My Shorts
• Got Chalk?

(Tulsa World)

LIVING LIKE A NEW YORK BANKER

From last Sunday's New York Times came a brilliant article by Allen Salkin titled, "You Try to Live on 500K in This Town." President Barack Obama wants to put government assisted bankers on a $500,000 yearly salary diet. In his article, Salkin looks at the actual yearly expenses of New York bankers:

• Two children in private school: $32,000.
• Private tutoring: $3,750.
• Federal taxes on a $500,000 income: $130,000.
• Social Security: $31,000.
• Medicare: $7,228.
• State taxes: $35,000.
• City taxes: $19,000.
• Two vacations a year: $16,000.
• Mortgage on a modest three bedroom apartment: $96,000.
• Co-op maintenance fee: $96,000.
• Mortgage on summer home in Southampton: $240,000.
• Armed chauffeur/bodyguard: $125,000.
• Garaging the car: $8,400.
• Personal trainer three times a week for $80/per.: $4000.
• Three formal gowns for charity balls: $35,000.
• Brooks Brothers suit: $1000.
• Total yearly cost of being a rich New York banker, before food: $975,378.

In the end, it's nice to know that the really rich live just like the rest of us: paycheck to paycheck.

(NYT)

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I've got principles. And if you don't like those, I've got others." -- Groucho Marx.

MISTER MAGOO RUNS NEW YORK

NBC's Saturday Night Live is having some fun with New York Governor David Patterson. He's blind, you know.

SNL's Fred Armisen plays him as a bumbler who crashes into cameras and reads charts upside down. And the blind are outraged, outraged. And so is the National Federation of the Blind.

Me, I think the protests are hypocritical. I doubt that most of these complainers have even seen the show.