QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Jews killed Jesus! Yes, the Jews killed the Lord Jesus. Now they're carrying water for the fags; that's what they do best: sin in God's face every day, with unprecedented and disproportionate amounts of sodomy, fornication, adultery, abortion and idolatry! God hates these dark-hearted rebellious disobedient Jews.”

And --

“Men, take the covering off your heads. While you are doing that, you need to repent of the fact that you killed Christ! All the remainder can sit and stew in your own filth, remain filthy until the day God spews you out of the land and punishes you for never repenting from having killed Jesus. You will be destroyed at the hand of Antichrist Obama, and you will eat your little cute, chubby, Kosher babies.”

-- Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas.

A BOY AND HIS RIFLE

Arcata and and Eureka, California, tried to ban the military recruitment of minors in those cities.

But a federal judge struck down the ordinances after the U.S. Justice Department argued that it would interfere with the government's ability to protect the country.

After all, how can we protect this nation without child soldiers?

Or as a retired Marine sergeant once told me, "There is no more dangerous force in this world than a teenager with a gun."

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"The two biggest names are Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin... But they are bound by the fact that neither one of them is actually ever going to be nominated for president even if we have another Ice Age and the only Americans left alive are them, Dennis Kucinich and that woman who was Miss California until Donald Trump fired her."

-- Gail Collins writing in The New York Times.

PHONE HOME

For decades, Earth scientists have been using radio telescopes to listen for messages from outer space. For decades we haven't gotten any messages. But that's no reason to stop trying.

And what if we do get a call? What do we answer? The SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) Institute is soliciting ideas. Here are some of the suggestions so far.

• "This is Earth speaking. We would like to know you. Please reply."
• "Down here we are all confused."
• "Don't kidnap us and poke us. We hate that."
• "We've got guns and we know how to use them."
• "If we discover intelligent life beyond Earth we should not reply -- we should freeze and play dead."
• "There's nothing to see here. Move along."

My own suggestion would be, "Let's have a beer and talk about life."

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I have total recall. I remember being born. I remember being in the womb. I remember being inside. Coming out was great.

-- Ray Bradbury.

FEELIN' GROOVY

Are the sixties coming back? Let's go to the tape:

• Macy's is marketing clothing to young men and women in a campaign called "Summer of Love."
• Ameriprise Financial ads feature Dennis Hopper.
• The copy for ABCs "The Bachelorette read, "One lucky girl's summer of love begins."
• Clothing ads for Children's Place feature peace symbols.
• Brooks Brothers is rerunning a newspaper ad from the sixties.
• Luvs ads show children riding in a VW micro bus and carrying protest signs.
• Volkswagen commercials feature the micro bus and classic beetle -- neither of which they make anymore.
• The musical "Hair" is back on Broadway.
• The "Woodstock" movie is out on Blue-Ray with additional footage and added features.

Now if they'd just bring back cheap gasoline and good acid. And the Volkswagen micro bus.

FEELIN' GROOVIER

Another relic of the sixties was "Magic Fingers."

Literally millions of motel and hotel beds had them. Drop a quarter in the coin box and the bed vibrated for 15 minutes.

Jimmy Buffet sang about it in the Steve Goodman song "This Hotel Room."

"Put in a quarter,
turn out the light,
Magic Fingers makes you
feel all right."

John Houghtaling, the inventor of Magic Fingers, died last week. He leaves behind five children. The New York Times obit notes that most of his children have Magic Fingers in their homes.

One of my life's regrets is that I never tried Magic Fingers. I saved my quarters for the coin operated motel TV -- yet another relic of the sixties.

QUOTATIONS FROM THE LUNATIC FRINGE

"America, we have a Muslim president. This is a sin against the lord!”
-- Pastor Mark Holick of the Spirit One Church in Kansas.

"I'm of the opinion -- and now everybody's going to say 'There goes Wiley down the conspiracy-theory road' -- I'm of the opinion that somebody in the Obama camp had this guy killed."
-- Wiley Drake, pastor of First Southern Baptist Church in Buena Park, California, and former running mate of American Independent Party presidential candidate Alan Keyes, on the murder of George Tiller.

"Obama is a long-legged mack daddy. I haven’t trashed Obama. His African-in-heat father went a-whoring after a trashy white woman. He was born trash. I said he was born trash. I didn’t trash him. I’m speaking the truth about him."
-- Reverend James David Manning, of the ATLAH Worldwide Church in Harlem.

IS OBAMA JEWISH?

This just in...

A Pew Research Center poll finds that 11 percent of Americans "know' that President Barack Obama is Muslim.

48 percent say he's Christian.

One percent think he's Jewish.

EXPLODING HORSES

Palestinian terrorists in Gaza have a new weapon in their war with Israel.

Suicide horses.

Several horses blew up during a firefight with Israeli forces at the Israeli border.

The riders were also killed.

ON THE SHOALS OF OKLAHOMA

A Tulsa man crashed his SUV into the Jenks lighthouse.

In explanation: The city of Jenks is landlocked, as is all of Oklahoma. The lighthouse sits by the side of the road to welcome drivers to Jenks.

The driver was killed, but I'm sure he felt welcomed.

ANDROID DREAMS

PR2 can open doors and and plug itself in to regular AC outlets for recharging.

Willow Garage in Silicon Valley invented the robot. Opening doors isn't new. robots have done this before. And Johns Hopkins University in the1960s developed a robot that could plug itself in. But never before has one robot been able to do both of these things.

It's a giant step for PR2. Or as one scientist put it, "Now they can escape and fend for themselves."

(NYT)

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation, okay. It’s just a fact.

"Not everybody’s lifestyle is equal. Just like not all religions are equal. The very fact that I’m talking to you like this today puts me in jeopardy, okay.

"I’m not anti, I’m not gay-bashing, but according to God’s word that is not the right kind of lifestyle. It has deadly consequences for those people involved in it. It has more suicides. They’re more discouraged. There’s more illness. Their lifespans are shorter. You know, it’s not a lifestyle that is good for this nation.

"It’s a matter of fact, studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades. So it’s the death nail for this country. I honestly think it’s the biggest threat, even in our nation. Even more so than terrorists, or Islam, okay.

"Cause, what’s happening now, they’re going after, err, in schools, two year olds! You know why they’re trying to get early childhood education? They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them. I taught school for close to 20 years and we’re not teaching facts and knowledge anymore, folks, we’re teaching indoctrination, okay. And they’re going after our young children, as young as 2 year of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.

"You know, gays are infiltrating city capitals. Did you know, Eureka Springs, anybody been there? Have you heard that the city council of Eureka Springs is now controlled by gays? There are some others, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Kensington Maryland, Vermont, Oregon, West Palm Beach, Florida and lots of other places in Florida. What’s happening? They are winning elections.

"One of the things I deal with in our legislature, I tried to introduce a bill last year that would notify parents, err, schools had to let parents know what clubs their students were involved in and the reason I did that bill, primarily, was this: we had the gay-straight alliance coming into our schools. Kids are getting involved in these groups, their lives are being ruined, the parents don’t know about it.

"So I introduced a bill that said you have to notify all the clubs participants’ parents. A colleague said: we don’t have a gay problem in my community, that’s why I’m not going to release that bill. You know what, to me, that’s so dumb, if you’ve got cancer or something in your little toe, do you say I’m just going to forget about it because the rest of you is fine? It spreads, okay.

"And this stuff is deadly and it’s spreading and it will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation."

-- Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern in a January, 2008, speech she gave to a meeting of Republicans.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Think about it. I'm on a last-place network, I moved to a state that's bankrupt, and 'The Tonight show' is sponsored by General Motors."

-- Conan O'Brien on NBC's "The Tonight Show."

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history. We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism."

And...

"I am not a citizen of the world. I am a citizen of the United States because only in the United States does citizenship start with our creator."

...Newt Gingrich speaking at the "Rediscovering God in America," forum at the Rock Church in Virginia.