Isn't it ironic.

Four Red Cross workers, in Afghanistan to seek the release of six people who were kidnapped and held hostage by the Taliban, have been kidnapped and held hostage.

Two Tennessee Wildlife Wildlife Resources Agency officers are accused of illegally baiting and killing bears in the Smokey Mountain foothills of Chilhowee Mountain.

President George W. Bush, in New York City to promote his No Child Left Behind program, announced that "Childrens (sic) do learn when standards are high."

Isn't it ironic.

The Indiana state environmental department may fine the Lake County Sheriff's Department for violating environmental laws by drilling wells around a landfill to check for violations of environmental laws.

Kentucky's Alcoholic Beverage Control Board executive director was arrested for drunken driving with a blood alcohol content of .18.

And a Maryland volunteer firefighter firebombed the Havre De Grace library so he could put out the fire.

President George Bush addressed the United Nations General Assembly on Tuesday. He said, "In Cuba, the long rule of a cruel dictator is nearing its end."

The Cuban delegation walked out.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also addressed the assembly. He accused the United States of major human rights violations.

The U.S. delegation walked out.

By the way, last Friday I was the master of ceremonies for the 20th annual awards banquet of the Tulsa chapter of the International Facility Management Association.

Nobody walked out.

The Supreme Court will decide on the constitutionality of the death penalty by lethal injection.

Lethal injection was invented right here in Oklahoma. We had it first. And the protocol invented in Oklahoma is the same three-drug cocktail still used in 37 other states:

• sodium thiopental to knock 'em out
• pancuronium bromide to paralyze 'em
• potassium chloride to stop the heart.

If the court rules against the injections, Oklahoma's backup execution method is the firing squad. The Supreme Court found that constitutional in 1878.

Coming to an airport near you: Behavior Detection Officers, trained by the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) to spot "suspicious people."

One of the techniques they'll be using is the Facial Action Coding System (FACS). They're taught, for example, that potentially dangerous people could have lowered eyebrows with a vertical furrow between, or raised eyebrows with a wrinkled forehead.

Just a warning. Be careful. And watch your face.

The Smithsonian today honored Jerry Merryman, the inventor of the handheld calculator. He invented it 40 years ago today. That would have been in...

Just a minute.

(2007-40=)

He invented it in 1967.

The State Fair is opening in Tulsa this weekend. Here are some of the new foods that will be there this year:

• Deep fried bacon and cheddar mashed potatoes on a stick.
• Cookie dough fondue on a stick with dipping sauce.
• Chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick.
• Spam on a stick.
• Deep fried macaroni and cheese.
• Deep fried apples.
• Deep fried smores.
• Deep fried olives.
• Frozen hot chocolate, not fried, no stick.

(Tulsa World)

A new national survey finds that most Republicans believe most Democrats are more corrupt than most Republicans. And the same survey finds that most Democrats think most Republicans are more corrupt.

Imagine that.

U.S. Army snipers have been using bait to lure Iraqi insurgents to their death.

The snipers plant bomb-making materials out in the open to draw bomb-makers to the killing ground.

And when the Iraqis come to collect the materials -- bang, a bullet to the brain.

It reminds me of Oklahoma deer hunters who hide in trees and lure their prey with mechanical deer feeders.

American military officers, local leaders and former insurgents all sat down together at a Shiite mosque in Iraq's Diyala province for a friendship banquet.

The death toll was sixteen.

Seen on a T-shirt at the Islamic Society bazaar in the Rosemont convention center outside Chicago:

"Frisk me, I'm Muslim."

And now, germs in space.

Yes, NASA sent germs into space -- salmonella germs -- on the space shuttle. And when they returned to Earth they were 300% stronger -- three times deadlier -- than Earth germs.

I think I've seen this movie.

World famous French mime Marcel Marceau died yesterday.

He had no last words.

Even in a democracy, the majority is not always right.

Monday marked the 220th anniversary of the signing or the U.S. Constitution, this country's premiere legal document.

But what do we know about it?

A new poll by the First Amendment Center found that 55% of Americans believe the Constitution established the United States as a Christian nation.

55%! More than half! Most! A majority of Americans!

But can anybody show me where the Constitution mentions Christianity? Or even God?

Go ahead. I double-dog dare you.

In Ethiopia, the Christian Orthodox calendar is seven years behind our Gregorian calendar. That's why they celebrated the new millennium yesterday.

And today, the computers still work.

Not a lot of big acts make it to Tulsa.

Pavarotti did.

Luciano Pavarotti started his farewell tour here in 2005. After the tour he retired, never to perform again.

He died this week.

Frank Sinatra played here in 1994. After Tulsa he made only two more stops on his tour. After that he retired, never to perform again.

He died in 1998.

Enrico Caruso performed here in 1920. A few weeks later he started coughing up blood. He died of pneumonia eight weeks later. Legend has it that he caught the pneumonia in Oklahoma.

Tulsa is hard on singers. Or, at least, Italian ones.

(Thank you Tulsa World.)

Whose God would you vote for?

The Pew Research Center asked Americans if they would be less likely to vote for a --

• Mormon. 25% said "Yes."
• Muslim. 45% said "Yes."
• Atheist. 65% said "Yes."

So a Muslim beats an atheist, but a Mormon beats a Muslim.

It's 2007. Do you know where your children are?

Here in Tulsa this weekend, the Masons are rolling out their Child ID Program.

Dental assistant students from Platt College will take a tooth impression of your child and take a photo in the approved Amber Alert format.

Organizers point out that the dental impressions can help identify skeletal remains.

Imagine what a comfort this must be to the children.

"Darling, if we ever find your body in a ditch, mutilated and burned beyond recognition, we'll always have this tooth impression to identify you and this picture to remember you by."

The National Park Service has removed the port-o-johns from atop Mount Whitney -- and Mount Rainier -- and Zion National Park -- even the Grand Canyon.

In fact, they're removing all the wilderness outhouses from all the national parks and forests in the U.S.A.

Instead, rangers are handing out Wagbags for campers to carry their poop in.

What's a Wagbag? You don't want to know.

All you need to know is that the bear is still allowed to shit in the woods -- but not you.

The Chinese Tourist Bureau is trying to rid restaurant menus of "Chinglish," as in bad English.

But until they do, here are some translations for dishes actually found on Beijing menus.

• Virgin Chicken (a young chicken dish)
• Burnt Lion's Head (Chinese-style pork meatballs)
• The Temple Explodes the Chicken Cube (kung pao chicken)
• Steamed Crap (steamed carp)

The Xinhua News Agency says Chinglish menus "may cause misunderstanding on China's diet habits."

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food."

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" And the grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Bob?"

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, is this some kind of joke?"