PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING

Last year median CEO pay rose 27 per-cent.

During that same period, their employees' pay rose 2.1 per-cent.

It's time for the peasants to revolt. 

NO MUSLIMS NEED APPLY

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain promises that, if elected, he will not appoint any Muslims to his Cabinet.

This surely will come as a relief to any Muslims who feared being called to service by this wingnut.

SERVICE WITH A SMILE

Pharmacy robberies are becoming so common in Tulsa that the crooks are coming back for seconds.

One gunman has now held up the same pharmacy twice. I guess he likes the service.

At my pharmacy, I don't like the service. They sometimes make me wait a half hour for a prescription I phoned in the day before. But I see how a gun might speed things up.

FORBIDDEN BIBLES AND THE NAME OF GOD

The Malaysian government seized 35,000 Malay-language bibles because they used Allah for the name of God.

In Malaysia, only Muslims are allowed to use the name Allah, and only Christians are allowed to posses bibles.

It's called separation of religion.

BUSINESS AS USUAL

Mexico's newest drug gang, Knights Templar, announced its grand opening with signs and banners.

The old gang, La Familia, announced last month that it was going out of business.

The new signs read:

To the people of Michoacan,

we inform you that starting today
we will be carrying out here
the altruistic activities

previously realized by La Familia Michoacana.

Our commitment is to keep order;
avoid robberies, kidnappings, extortion;

and protect the state from interventions by rival organizations.

The Knights Templar.

It's always good to find a gang of thugs that care about the community.

WELCOME TO WAL-MART

There was a shootout at my local Tulsa Wal-Mart, where a young man shot a teenager in the leg.

Cleanup on aisle seven!

A NIPPLE TO THE WISE

Given Oklahoman's extreme sensitivity to undraped body parts, the latest art exhibit in downtown Tulsa comes with a warning label. The sign reads:

FYI:

This exhibition includes

paintings of nude women.

That oughta' pack 'em in.

SNOW KIDDING

"We've gotten so much snow, it's starting to repeat itself -- I saw two snowflakes exactly alike!"

-- Melanie Klarman Fry on Facebook.

THE DELUSION CONTINUES

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi says Osama bin Laden is causing the revolution in Libya.

Gadhafi says al-Qaida is giving teenagers "hallucinogenic pills in their coffee with milk, like Nescafe."

I'm not making this up.

RE SIGN

McDonald's has a new breakfast item; it's oatmeal with fruit in it. But the changeable-letter sign-board at my local McDonald's reads:

NEW

FRUIT AND

OAT MEAL

Yup. Got yer fruit. Got yer oats. It's a meal.

THE SON ALSO RISES

In a 40 minute finger-wagging televised speech, Colonel Moammar Gadhafi's son, Seif al-Islam Gaddafi, blamed the Libyan revolution on:

• Islamists
• the media
• thugs
• drunks
• drug addicts
• Egyptians
• Tunisians
• Americans
• Europeans

Notably, Qadaffi did not blame:

• space aliens
• floride in the drinking water
• his father

(How do you spell Kadafi? Any way you want.)

THEY'RE NOT LIKE US, YOU KNOW

Who is a citizen of Oklahoma? 

Senate Bill 898, if passed, would finally settle that once and for all. To be a citizen of Oklahoma you would have to be born in the U.S.A. and have at least one parent who is a citizen. Non citizens of Oklahoma would not be allowed to own property in the state.

That means that some legitimate U.S. citizens would not be Oklahoma citizens or able to own property here.

State Senator Ralph Shorty, who is an Oklahoma citizen, says "We're not saying they (non-citizens) are less than human. What we're saying is they are not Americans and have no rights thereof."

Of course, this is all about Mexicans. Oklahomans like their Mexicans. They'd like them to be somewhere else.

READ ALL ABOUT IT

The Pentagon is declassifying the Pentagon Papers.

The papers are a record of America's secret history in Vietnam. They were stolen and published 40 years ago and have been widely available since. Still they were officially a secret all this time.

Today the Pentagon Papers, tomorrow the Wikileaks.

FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY

Arab-American demonstrators rallied in Bixby, Oklahoma.

They carried signs reading "Democracy for Egypt" and "Honk your horns."

They chanted "Freedom must come." 

The police did not shoot them or beat them. 

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak resigned. 

And everybody went home.

THOSE WACKY WEGISWATORS

A Maine legislator has introduced a bill to legalize switchblade knives for one-armed people.

I'm not making this up.

OOPS

At her swearing-in on Monday, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin promised to "support, obey and offend" the constitution. 

She's not alone. 

Presidents Barack Obama, Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur also managed to mangle their oaths of office.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I think that governor's phone is broke.  He hadn't (sic) called yet."

-- The last words of convicted killer Jeffery David Matthews, executed last night at the Oklahoma State Penitentiary.

OOPS!

Salman Taseer, governor of Pakistan's Punjab province, received so many death threats that he never traveled without a bodyguard. 

In fact, it was his bodyguard who finally assassinated him yesterday.

GETTING HIGH FOR THE END TIMES

Surely this must be a sign of the end times.

Pat Robertson has come out for the legalization of marijuana.

"I'm not exactly for the use of drugs, don't get me wrong, but I just believe that criminalizing marijuana, criminalizing the possession of a few ounces of pot, that kinda thing it's just, it's costing us a fortune and it's ruining young people. Young people go into prisons, they go in as youths and come out as hardened criminals. That's not a good thing."

-- Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson on a recent segment of his 700 Club television show.

SIGNS

I was in Dallas the other day when there was an Amber alert.  The electronic highway signs read:

Kidnapped Girl

Slvr Ford Focus

Call Police

And I thought how I'd hate to be driving a silver Ford Focus that day.