TURN IT UP! TURN IT UP!

The U.S. House and Senate have passed bills making broadcasters turn down the TV, so the commercials are no louder than the programs.

Because, after all, isn't this one of the major problems facing the country these days?

LOTSA LAST WORDS

A man who blew his brains out at Harvard University left behind a 1,904 page suicide note.

Ya' gotta' wonder how he ever found time to kill himself.

QUOTATION FROM THE LUNATIC FRINGE

"Some segments within the U.S. government orchestrated the attack to reverse the declining American economy and its grips on the Middle East in order also to save the Zionist regime. The majority of the American people as well as other nations and politicians agree with this view."

-- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on 9/11.

OOPS

Pittsburgh police beat up 25 people who were protesting police brutality.

That'll teach 'em.

Police surrounded the group and then told them to disperse.

Oops.

***

Tornado sirens went off accidentally in Hutchinson, Kansas.

The sirens sound when a city official dials a secret phone number.

The sirens were activated when someone dialed a wrong number.

Oops.

###

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF DELAWARE SENATORIAL CANDIDATE CHRISTINE O'DONNELL

"It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can't masturbate without lust."

"People are created in God's image. Homosexuality is an identity adopted through societal factors. It's an identity disorder."

“Well, I know that the [gay pride parade] here in Los Angeles, there was S&M going on. There was mocking sodomy, mocking, you know, all kinds of crude sexual acts. … Because—because authorities were too afraid to be called, quote, unquote, ‘homophobic’ because these homosexual special rights groups do get away with [anything].”

"Condoms will not protect you from AIDS."

"We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools. Now we're having weekly shootings."

"Creationism, in essence, is believing that the world began as the Bible in Genesis says, that God created the world in six days, six 24-hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more, evidence supporting that."

"American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

On nude sunbathing: "I mean, it is very difficult, I'm sure, for a man to sit there and look at his girlfriend naked and not want to go a bit further."

On co-ed college dorms: "What's next? Orgy rooms? Menage trois rooms?"

"I dabbled into witchcraft -- I never joined a coven. But I did, I did. I dabbled into witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I'm not making this stuff up."

"One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn't know it. I mean, there's little blood there and stuff like that, We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a satanic altar."

"During the primary, I heard the audible voice of God. … He said, 'Credibility.' It wasn't a thought in my head. I thought it meant I was going to win. But after the primary, I got credibility."

“[My opponents are] following me. They follow me home at night. I make sure that I come back to the townhouse and then we have our team come out and check all the bushes and check all the cars to make sure that—they follow me. … That’s what’s disgusting, as you can see from the YouTube videos. They knock on the door at all hours of the night. They’re hiding in the bushes when I’m at candidate forums.”

POLL TOLL

Today is election day in Afghanistan.

The death toll is 17.

NON-COMBAT DEATHS

Since President Obama announced the end of U.S. combat in Iraq, the death toll is two.

But at least these two American soldiers were shot to death by an Iraqi soldier on an Iraqi army base.

Not that the difference matters to those two American solders.

THEY'RE JUST ADVISORS, YOU KNOW

U.S. non-combat troops armed with mortars and machine guns attacked Iraqi insurgents in Diyala Province the other day.  Non-combat pilots flying Apache and Kiowa helicopters and F-16 jets provided air support with cannon fire and 500-pound bombs.

The U.S. combat mission in Iraq officially ended on September first.

WHAT, NO REINDEER?

Malaysian TV pulled a spot celebrating Eid al-Fitr, the end of Ramadan, after some Muslim complaints.

The ad featured  a flying trishaw (a tricycle rickshaw) driven across the night sky by an old man with white hair.

Think sleigh.  Think Santa.  Think Christmas.

TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A DAY

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, as declared by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP).

So don't kill yourself today.

Maybe I should have posted this earlier in the day.

WORKS FOR ME

"I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it."

-- British philosopher John Stuart Mill (1806-1873).