"The problem is the Swedes have pure genes. They marry other Swedes, that's the rule. Finns marry other Finns; they have a pure society. In America we marry everybody. We will marry Italians and Irish."
-- Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I'D LOVE TO BE...
Oscar Mayer, retired chairman of his eponymous meat processing company, is dead.
Long live his hot dogs.
Long live his hot dogs.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
"For the last -- I don't for how long now -- this lowlife Michael Jackson -- his name, his face, his picture -- is all over the newspapers, television, radio. All we hear about is Michael Jackson.
"Let's knock out the psychobabble. This guy was a pervert, was a child molester. He was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what's it say about us, our country?
"There's nothing good about this guy. He may have been a good singer, dancer, but the bottom line is: Would you let your child or grandchild be in the same room with Michael Jackson? What are we glorifying him for?"
-- U.S. Representative Peter T. King of Long Island, New York.
"Let's knock out the psychobabble. This guy was a pervert, was a child molester. He was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what's it say about us, our country?
"There's nothing good about this guy. He may have been a good singer, dancer, but the bottom line is: Would you let your child or grandchild be in the same room with Michael Jackson? What are we glorifying him for?"
-- U.S. Representative Peter T. King of Long Island, New York.
THAT'S STRANGE
I just found out that that the late former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara middle name was Strange.
No, I mean literally. His name was Robert Strange McNamara.
Strange.
No, I mean literally. His name was Robert Strange McNamara.
Strange.
FLU? WHO KNEW?
From the extreme irony department...
Cleveland cancelled a free health care fair because of fears of swine flu.
Cleveland cancelled a free health care fair because of fears of swine flu.
THE POLICE BLOTTER
Police in Peddler's Village, Virginia, busted Kelly Fashion manager Hyun Nam Kim and seized $340.000 worth of counterfeit clothing.
Good work, guys, on keeping the village safe from counterfeit clothing.
Good work, guys, on keeping the village safe from counterfeit clothing.
###
And two New York men who robbed a gas station were caught a mile down the road when their getaway car ran out of gas.
Monday, July 6, 2009
THE QUICK AND THE DEAD
Armadillo carcasses litter the roads of Oklahoma and Texas. Here in Oklahoma we have a joke about them.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo that it could be done!
But now armadillos are showing up in Kansas. And my question is this: If they can't even cross the road in Oklahoma, how can they get to Kansas?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo that it could be done!
But now armadillos are showing up in Kansas. And my question is this: If they can't even cross the road in Oklahoma, how can they get to Kansas?
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
"There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white."
-- President Richard Nixon on Roe v. Wade
-- President Richard Nixon on Roe v. Wade
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Robert McNamara died today. I assume he has now seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
QUOTATIONS OF THE DAY
"By definition, if it was authorized by the president, it does not violate our obligations under the Conventions Against Torture."
-- Condoleezza Rice
"When the president does it, it's not illegal."
-- President Richard Nixon
-- Condoleezza Rice
"When the president does it, it's not illegal."
-- President Richard Nixon
INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NEW JERSEY
The Statue of Liberty's crown, closed since 9/11, opened on the fourth of July.
I first made that climb decades ago, 354 steps to the top, some of those barely big enough for even my child sized feet. And there was no handrail then, as there is now.
And at the top, a disappointing view of the New York skyline; you could see better from the Empire State Building or, for that matter, the World Trade Center. The real thrill was just being there in Lady Liberty, the same statue that greeted my immigrant grandparents on their way up New York Harbor.
I'd like some some day to climb up to the torch. It's been closed since World War I when German saboteurs blew up a nearby military ammo dump and the blast weakened Liberty's arm.
And yes, the Statue of Liberty is actually in New Jersey. Don't let any New Yorker tell you different.
I first made that climb decades ago, 354 steps to the top, some of those barely big enough for even my child sized feet. And there was no handrail then, as there is now.
And at the top, a disappointing view of the New York skyline; you could see better from the Empire State Building or, for that matter, the World Trade Center. The real thrill was just being there in Lady Liberty, the same statue that greeted my immigrant grandparents on their way up New York Harbor.
I'd like some some day to climb up to the torch. It's been closed since World War I when German saboteurs blew up a nearby military ammo dump and the blast weakened Liberty's arm.
And yes, the Statue of Liberty is actually in New Jersey. Don't let any New Yorker tell you different.
INDEPENDENCE DAY IN TULSA
Here in Tulsa, the annual fireworks display was over in 13 minutes.
A shell exploded inside its launch tube, fell over, and set other shells on fire. The fire spread across the launch platform. The Tulsa Fire Department put out the fire, but by then everything was too wet to shoot.
The celebration was a dud.
(Tulsa World)
A shell exploded inside its launch tube, fell over, and set other shells on fire. The fire spread across the launch platform. The Tulsa Fire Department put out the fire, but by then everything was too wet to shoot.
The celebration was a dud.
(Tulsa World)
INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NORTH KOREA
North Korea celebrated the fourth of July with the rocket's red glare. The Communist dictatorship launched seven ballistic missiles 250 miles into the ocean.
It's always good to see another country celebrate American independence.
It's always good to see another country celebrate American independence.
INDEPENDENCE DAY IN IRAQ
Vice President Joe Biden led the swearing in of 237 new U.S. citizens -- soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines -- at Saddam Hussein's former palace in Iraq, beneath the giant crystal chandelier of the late dictator and before a 50 foot American flag.
Biden pointed out, "We did it in Saddam's palace, and I can think of nothing better. That S.O.B. is rolling over in his grave right now."
(NYT)
Biden pointed out, "We did it in Saddam's palace, and I can think of nothing better. That S.O.B. is rolling over in his grave right now."
(NYT)
INDEPENDENCE DAY IN AFGHANISTAN
Bravo Company of the 1st Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, spent Independence Day on the third day of a hike through the 100 plus degree heat of Afghanistan, carrying 100 pounds of gear each. Ammunition, rifle and flak jacket alone weigh 50 pounds. Add another 15 pounds for water, barely enough for the task.
There were some heat causalities. Some Marines threw up, others had dry heaves. Three passed out. Their Navy medic pointed out, "When (body) temperature goes up past 104, your brain starts cooking, and that's what we're trying to prevent."
Each Marine was carrying a full load of ammo, because they had not yet been in a firefight. One said, "It's be great if we took contact. We'd lose so much weight."
Most of the Marines were not aware it was the fourth of July.
(AP)
There were some heat causalities. Some Marines threw up, others had dry heaves. Three passed out. Their Navy medic pointed out, "When (body) temperature goes up past 104, your brain starts cooking, and that's what we're trying to prevent."
Each Marine was carrying a full load of ammo, because they had not yet been in a firefight. One said, "It's be great if we took contact. We'd lose so much weight."
Most of the Marines were not aware it was the fourth of July.
(AP)
Friday, July 3, 2009
YOU PAYS YOUR MONEY AND TAKES YOUR CHOICE
The F.D.A. has ordered new warning labels on some stop-smoking drugs because of a suicide risk. The drugs are bupropion -- sold as Zyban and Wellbutrin -- and Chantix.
So if smoking doesn't kill you, stopping might.
So if smoking doesn't kill you, stopping might.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE NUTS TO SMOKE
Greece has passed a strict new anti-smoking law. It is now illegal to smoke in any public place. The law makes a special exemption for mental patients.
Is that crazy or what?
Is that crazy or what?
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
"Laws, like the spider's web, catch the fly and let the hawk go free."
-- Spanish proverb
-- Spanish proverb
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