NO MUSLIMS NEED APPLY

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain promises that, if elected, he will not appoint any Muslims to his Cabinet.

This surely will come as a relief to any Muslims who feared being called to service by this wingnut.

SERVICE WITH A SMILE

Pharmacy robberies are becoming so common in Tulsa that the crooks are coming back for seconds.

One gunman has now held up the same pharmacy twice. I guess he likes the service.

At my pharmacy, I don't like the service. They sometimes make me wait a half hour for a prescription I phoned in the day before. But I see how a gun might speed things up.

FORBIDDEN BIBLES AND THE NAME OF GOD

The Malaysian government seized 35,000 Malay-language bibles because they used Allah for the name of God.

In Malaysia, only Muslims are allowed to use the name Allah, and only Christians are allowed to posses bibles.

It's called separation of religion.

BUSINESS AS USUAL

Mexico's newest drug gang, Knights Templar, announced its grand opening with signs and banners.

The old gang, La Familia, announced last month that it was going out of business.

The new signs read:

To the people of Michoacan,

we inform you that starting today
we will be carrying out here
the altruistic activities

previously realized by La Familia Michoacana.

Our commitment is to keep order;
avoid robberies, kidnappings, extortion;

and protect the state from interventions by rival organizations.

The Knights Templar.

It's always good to find a gang of thugs that care about the community.

WELCOME TO WAL-MART

There was a shootout at my local Tulsa Wal-Mart, where a young man shot a teenager in the leg.

Cleanup on aisle seven!

A NIPPLE TO THE WISE

Given Oklahoman's extreme sensitivity to undraped body parts, the latest art exhibit in downtown Tulsa comes with a warning label. The sign reads:

FYI:

This exhibition includes

paintings of nude women.

That oughta' pack 'em in.