Mumbai, India, has banned domesticated elephants from the city. They say that the hot, crowded, polluted streets are just too cruel for elephants.

For people, though, it's still OK.

Also in India, a gang of rampaging Rhesus Macaque monkeys killed the deputy mayor of New Delhi.

The city is overrun with these monkeys. So New Delhi is using Langur monkeys -- a natural predator -- to get rid of the Rhesus Macaques.

Next: How to rid New Delhi of Langur Monkeys?

Tampa high school teacher Christina Butler, 33, was arrested for having sex with a 16-year-old student.

I don't think she should go to jail. I think she should get a medal. I wish my teacher had done that for me.

Especially my history teacher. She was a sweetie.

In Anchorage, Ruth Seetot didn't know her 22-year-old grandson held a party in her apartment Friday until the next day when she found a body in her freezer.

When confronted, grandson Elmer apologised and ran away from home.

What's a grandmother to do?

The Feds busted 70-year-old Max Moss for running a moonshine still in the Chattahoochee National Forest. He could get five years prison.

In my opinion, he shouldn't be put in a prison. He should be put in a museum.

Delta Airlines lost two pieces of luggage Sunday on take-off from Chicago's Midway Airport when a cargo door opened in flight.

One bag was found less than a mile from the airport. The other is still missing.

Airlines lose about 14,000 bags every day. Most are lost on the ground.

You can get great travel bargains if you go in the off season.

It takes a $70,000 royalty to climb Mount Everest, but Nepal will give 75% off if you do it in the winter.

The last successful winter climb was in 1993, when the temperatures were only minus 55 degrees.

But hey, a bargain's a bargain.

Isn't it ironic.

The Cincinnati "Peace Bowl," a youth football tournament promoting non-violence, was halted after a fatal shooting.

And a peace concert in the Palestinian West Bank was called off after the organizers received death threats.

An Alabama high school student is dead after a shooting that broke out as a group of Prattville High students and a group from Wetumpka High argued over who has the best football team.

Four people are charged with murder, but authorities have still not determined which school has the best football team.

Semi-disgraced radio-host Don Imus is returning his act to television on the RFD-TV cable network.

RFD stands for Rural Free Delivery, as in Mayberry RFD.

Other shows on the channel include Cattlemen to Cattlemen and Horse Babies.

A correction --

A United Nations document reported on an unnamed Syrian diplomat saying that the Israeli missile strike in his country did hit a nuclear facility.

But the official Syrian Arab News Agency says the diplomat was misquoted, and in fact the missiles did not hit a nuclear facility.

Hey, anyone could make that mistake.

Quotation of the day:

"A word to the wise isn't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice."

-- Bill Cosby

A food-on-a-stick update.

I thought the Tulsa State Fair had pushed this idea as far as it could go.

I was wrong.

In the alleyways near the Forbidden City in Beijing, the outdoor food vendors are selling --

• butterflies on a stick.
• larva on a stick.
• snake eggs in a stick.
• ostrich egg in a stick.
• roast bat on a stick.

But, no corn dogs.

Here in Tulsa, Alfred Houston Johnson died just five days before he was to go on trial for shooting his girlfriend to death.

While in custody, Johnson was hospitalised with hepatitis C, cirrhosis of the liver, diabetes, an ulcer, hypertension and scabies.

Johnson's cause of death has not been determined.

Here in Oklahoma, it became legal this year to get yourself tattooed.

But in Oklahoma City, it's still illegal to tattoo a fish.

The City Council apparently believes it's just too cruel to tattoo a fish.

So when authorities found $1,700 worth of tattooed tropical fish at a pet business, they seized the fish and had them euthanized.

Which begs the question: Is it crueler to live tattooed, or not to live at all?

Archbishop Desmond Tutu has been dis-invited to speak at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota, because Tutu has said some unkind things about Israel and the university didn't want to offend Jewish people.

Instead, he'll speak at Metropolitan State where there are, presumably, fewer Jews.

On the front page of the Tulsa World today is a photo of 10-year-old Emily Bevill kissing her pig -- his name is Freddie -- goodbye.

Emily raised the pig for the Junior Livestock Auction at the Tulsa State Fair, where he'll be sold for slaughter.

It's a sad story. And it's not one you'll find in The New York Times.

The 2008 presidential campaign is heating up and and the big issues of the day are Hillary's laugh, Obama's flag pin and, of course, Edward's hair.

Oh wait, there's also health care, taxes and a big war somewhere.

The New York State Police set up a drunken driving checkpoint upstate over the weekend and caught 22 illegal aliens.

The Mexicans and a Guatemalan were passengers on a bus. They were not drunk and they were not driving.

Is it Myanmar, or is it Burma?

In the news today --

• The New York Times called it Myanmar.
• USA Today called it Burma.
• The L.A. Times called it Myanmar.
• The Washington Post called it Burma.
• CNN called it Myanmar.
• The BBC called it Burma.

I don't remember such confusion since Peking became Beijing, or Yugoslavia became...

What do they call Yugoslavia now?

Isn't it ironic.

Four Red Cross workers, in Afghanistan to seek the release of six people who were kidnapped and held hostage by the Taliban, have been kidnapped and held hostage.

Two Tennessee Wildlife Wildlife Resources Agency officers are accused of illegally baiting and killing bears in the Smokey Mountain foothills of Chilhowee Mountain.

President George W. Bush, in New York City to promote his No Child Left Behind program, announced that "Childrens (sic) do learn when standards are high."