1955 -- 2011

 "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."

-- Steve Jobs

TWO AMERICAS

Republican Congressman John Fleming of Louisiana, according to the Wall Street Journal, has a gross income of $6.3 million. Here he is in on MSNBC to complain about the unfairness of tax increases on the rich.

"The amount that I have to invest in my business and feed my family is more like $600,000 of that $6.3 million. So by the time I feed my family I have, maybe, $400,000 left over to invest in new locations, upgrade my locations, buy more equipment."

That's $200,000 to feed his family? We really are living in two Americas, and I'm not living in his.

THAT'S GOOD

Steve Stevenson, a hunter, shot a grizzly bear in Billings, Montana.

That's good.

But the wounded bear then turned on Stevenson and attacked him.

That's bad.

But Stevenson's hunting companion, Ty Bell, fired a shot that drove the bear away.

That's good.

But the shot that Bell fired hit Stevenson in the chest, killing him.

That's bad.

No charges will be filed.

That's good.

OOPS!

Texas Governor Rick Perry on Social Security, from an MSNBC appearance in November of 2010:

"Give it back to the states. Why is the federal government even in the the pension program or the health care delivery program?"

Perry on Social Security, from the 9-22-11 GOP debate:

"We never said that we were going to move this back to the states."

Oops!

Michele Bachman in the 9-22-11 GOP debate:

"President Obama has the lowest public approval ratings of any president in modern time."

Actually, the following presidents all have had lower job approval ratings than Barack Obama's low of 38 percent.

• Harry Truman
• Lyndon Johnson
• Richard Nixon
• Gerald Ford
• Jimmy Carter
• Ronald Reagan
• George H. W. Bush
• Bill Clinton
• George W. Bush

Oops!

SOMALI GOT HIS GUN

A Somali radio station held a Quran recitation contest for children.

First prize was $700 and an AK-47.

Second prize was $500 and an AK-47.

Third prize was two hand grenades.

I'm not making this up.

DEATH DIET

Admitted white supremacist Lawrence Russell Brewer has been put to death in Texas for chaining a black man to a truck and dragging him to death.

He ordered and  was served his final meal request.

• two chicken fried steaks smothered in gravy, with sliced onions,
• a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger,
• a cheese omelet with other ingredients,
• a large bowl of fried okra with ketchup,
• a pound of barbecue,
• a half loaf of white bread, 
• three fajitas,
• a pint of Blue Bell ice cream,
• a meat lover's pizza
• and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts.

He didn't eat a bit.

(CNN)

(Update - The Texas prison warden has anounced it is stopping special last meals for condemned inmates.)

OOPS!

A Taliban suicide bomber in Pakistan targeted a senior police officer, Chaudhry Aslam, for assassination, The blast killed eight people and left behind a crater ten feet deep.

Aslaam and his family were unhurt.

Oops!

HEAVEN ON WHEELS

It was "Bikers' Sunday" yesterday at Tulsa's International Gospel Center. Members of the Righteous Riders Motorcycle Group rode their rides into the sanctuary for the "Blessing of the Bikes."


Someone once told me that God rides a Harley, but I've never seen it myself.

LUNATIC LETTER

Here are bits of the latest lunatic letter to the editor of my local paper, The Tulsa World, under the headline "Impeach Obama" --

"He lied with every breath he took during the last presidential campaign in order to deceive  the American people into electing him.

"I have wondered why such a bigoted, unpatriotic, crooked, egotist has gotten by this long without having articles of impeachment brought against him. His every action -- and the radical people he surrounds himself with -- clearly indicates he has nothing but sinister plans for the future of our country. ...

"What kind of upbringing did he have to cause such misguided hatred of his country? Apparently he has not a hint of idea how average Americans think, what their values are, nor the heritage that gives them tremendous pride in their country.

"Impeachment proceedings should be initiated as soon as possible. We will not have a country left if he serves out the remainder of his present term."

"THEY ARE STUPID"

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that  party again in our political history. Among them are H. L. Hunt, a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."

-- President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1954.

TRUE CRIME

A California jury has failed to unanimously convict of murder a teen who, before a classroom of witnesses, took careful aim at the back of a classmate's head and shot him to death.

Go figure.

An Arkansas man who confessed to killing his one month old son is demanding a new mental evaluation to prove that he really is not guilty by reason of mental defect.

But if he knows he's crazy, then can he really be crazy?

Just askin'.

A marijuana truck overturned on a San Jose street, spewing bundles all over the intersection. The driver ran away.

Drivers and pedestrians scooped up most of the packages, so little cleanup was required.

OOPS

Washington D.C. is suing the non-profit Cornell Jones Miracle Hands for (D.C. says) taking a more than $300,000 city grant for a job training center for people with HIV/AIDS and instead building the "Stadium Club" featuring nude dancers.

Oops.

OOPS

Two suicide bombers in Pakistan targeted Brigadier General Khurram Shahzad, deputy head of the Frontier Corps, for assassination. The blast killed 22 people. Shahzad survived.

Oops.

A SOBER PEOPLE

Salt Lake City police who set up checkpoints over the Labor Day Weekend stopped more than two thousand motorists failed to find even one drunken driver.

Just thought you'd like to know.

NO SQUIRTING, WE'RE IRANIAN

Iran has banned squirt guns.

When a good natured water fight broke out at a Tehran water park, police raided the place and arrested dozens of young men and women. Security forces are still tracking others down. Seventeen more people were arrested at a water park in the city of Bandar Abbas. Agents are searching toy stores for the source of the guns. Water warriors are being forced to confess on TV.

The Fars News Agency, a mouthpiece for Iran's Revolutionary guards, claims Zionists and Americans are instigating the squirt gun fights.

Tehran's police chief promises, "Police will deal forcefully with park violators who are threatening the security and peace of our society."

And lawmaker Hossein Ibrahimi adds, "These events are a disgrace to our revolution. Our security forces and judiciary must stop the spreading of these morally corrupt actions."

(WSJ)

NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD MEN TO COME TO THE AID OF THE PARTY

Arizona only officially recognizes five political parties: Democratic, Republican, Libertarian, Green and Americans Elect.

But some others show up in election records. They include the...

• Disaffected Party.
• Flying Spaghetti Monster Party.
• Apathatarians Party
• Zombie Hunters of America Party.
• Awesome Party.
• Charles Barkleyism Party.
• Galactic Empire Party.
• Democrasaurus Rex Party.

And the...

• Dance Party Party.

TOUGH TIMES IN TULSA

Are Tulsa politics becoming a blood sport?

Tulsa City Council incumbent G.T, Bynum was invited to the home of Tulsa City Candidate Robert Pinney to discuss things. It was a few days after the shooting of Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.


There, Council candidate said to Council incumbent, "You know, I'm really surprised you came to meet with me today with all the stuff that happened this weekend, because it is passionate guys like me who shoot politicians like you."

Pinney now gets a security escort whenever he visits City Hall.

Let the campaign continue!